What's The Deal With Love?

Romance is tough business.  After all, it's money- and time-consuming, and, nine times out of ten, it doesn't work out.  On top of that, after one of those unsuccessful attempts at romance, we end up feeling bad for a couple of weeks (at the least).  That post-romance depression can be so bad, in fact, that I often emerge from the fiery wreckage of a relationship pledging myself to life-long celibacy.  After all, who needs all that pain again?  

This pledge to stay single is usually made with total sincerity, with total commitment to keep it, and only lasts until I see another cute girl.  Once this happens, I promptly forget all my pledges and dash onto the romance playing field again.

Why do I (and we, because I'm hoping I'm not alone) do this?  Why do we willingly enter into so many relationships, knowing that there's every possibility that it'll fail?  Because what we might gain is so much more that what we might lose.

"I love you" is just a simple three-word phrase, but it's a symbol of a lot more.  When we verbally commit your heart to someone else, we're essentially saying, "I care about you.  I'm going to stand by you, no matter how hard things get.  I'm interested in what you're thinking and feeling, and I want to understand what's going on in your mind and heart.  Life's going to be hard, but I know that, together, we can make it through.  Let's team up and get through this together."

I don't know about you, but I don't think there's a greater gift we can give someone.  What an amazing thing to have a partner in life, someone who always has your best interests at heart, someone always ready with a word of encouragement, someone with their arms open to you all the time.

And, as special as it is to have such a partner, it's even more special to BE that partner to someone else.  After all, love has no selfishness in it; it's all caring about the other person, or it's not love.  The partnership is unbalanced if one person's doing all the giving and the other's doing all the taking.  Each person should be committed to the other, and I want nothing more than to have that opportunity.

Partnership.  Selflessness.  Loyalty.  That's what "I love you," the roses, the candlelight dinners, the chocolates, the ring, the wedding, and everything else mean.  Those three qualities are what make up "true love."

So, if you were to ask me (or if I were to ask myself) why I keep returning to play the romance game again and again, here's what I'll say: because I want to find that "perfect partner" (to borrow a phrase from the movie Shall We Dance?).  Because I want to be that perfect partner to someone else.  And, with every relationship I have, I'm getting closer to finding that special girl, the one who'll think I'm special, too.  And, once that happens, all the pain, all the heartbreak, will have been worth it.