Being single isn't for sissies. (Of course, neither is marriage, but since I haven't experienced that yet, I'll leave that post for another time.) It can get really lonely, especially when you feel surrounded by peers who are getting engaged and married. If you let it, being single can also be a brutal blow to one's self-esteem; it's easy to feel like you're damaged goods when you're being rejected on a semi-regular basis. I've felt these feelings just as much as anyone.
Fortunately, though, those sad times have been coming much less often for me than they did before. Luckily for me, I've learned a few things about the single life (through the Lord, friends, and family) that have helped me change my point of view on this stage of my life. I've been thinking about them a lot lately, and I'm sharing them here in the hope that they'll help someone else.
-There's No Race To Get Married. Sometimes, cultural expectations make it seem as if you're not married by a certain age, there's something wrong with you. I can understand where that view comes from, but I also think it's sort of dangerous. If there's one decision you don't want to rush into, it's the decision of who you want to spend the rest of your life with. If you're single, you should feel free to take as much time as you need to make that choice.
-It's Okay To Be Picky (Within Reason). Let's be real here: none of us are going to find that perfect person, because such people don't exist. That doesn't mean, however, that we can't have qualities that we feel our girl- or boy- friend should have. It's perfectly okay to have deal-breakers, especially when they deal with important things like religious beliefs, views on family and child-raising, financial matters, and other such matters. Of course, there are lots of smaller details that can be overlooked, but we should always hold our ground when it comes to the important things.
-You Don't Need To Put Your Life On Hold Until You Get Married. I have big plans for my life. For those of you who don't know, my dream in life is to become a professional screenwriter, to move back to Southern Cal and make my selling movie scripts and writing for TV shows. I've been working out a plan on how to get there: finish a few scripts, then reach out toward studios through an actor friend of my dad's and work my way up through the ranks. Of course, once I get married or gain a girlfriend, she'll have a say in how my plans unfold, but I'm not waiting for her before I get started; I've finished one script and I'm looking at movie studio jobs. The same principle applies to every single person; you don't need to wait for another person in order to pursue your dreams & desires. Start now!
-You Don't Need To Put On A Fake Personality To Impress Someone. I have very unique tastes. I love '90s movies and '60s music. I'm fascinated with comic books and video games, but I'm also equally interested in baseball and boxing. I have lots of interests all over the board, and it makes me a unique person. My personality may not be to the taste of every girl I like, but that doesn't mean I have to change it to suit them. The same goes for all of us, since all of us have unique personalities; just because someone we have a crush on doesn't like our personality, that doesn't mean that we have to try and change it to someone else. It just means it's time to try the romance thing with someone else.
-You Don't Need To Put On A Fake Personality To Impress Someone. I have very unique tastes. I love '90s movies and '60s music. I'm fascinated with comic books and video games, but I'm also equally interested in baseball and boxing. I have lots of interests all over the board, and it makes me a unique person. My personality may not be to the taste of every girl I like, but that doesn't mean I have to change it to suit them. The same goes for all of us, since all of us have unique personalities; just because someone we have a crush on doesn't like our personality, that doesn't mean that we have to try and change it to someone else. It just means it's time to try the romance thing with someone else.
-Rejection Doesn't Mean You're Worthless. If you're going to remember just one thing from this blog post, you should make it this one, because this one is the most important. It's hard to ask someone you really like out and have them say no. It hurts! Even if the person turns you down politely, it still hurts. It's okay to feel a little disappointed, but it's really important that we don't let it affect our self-esteem. One person's rejection, or a hundred people's rejections, doesn't make us any less of a person. A rejection simply means it's time to try again with someone else. It's not a signal to start hating ourselves.
I don't want to attach too much importance to myself or to say that I'm a relationship expert; these are just some ideas that have helped me re-align my single life for the better. I'm just posting them here in the hope that they'll help someone else, just as they've helped me. Hopefully, they do!
